The real world?!?

I've been planning on going to Target for about a week.

I decided I wanted some new yoga pants since the one's I wore during my pregnancy lost their elasticity. (big surprise!) I knew I had to try them on since my body is so messed up otherwise I'd be ordering online. I also had a few other things on my list. Here's the problem. We live about 30 minutes from Target. I'm nursing every 3 hours and it takes about 30 minutes to nurse. That gave me a window of 1.5 hours to shop which is enough, but yet I had to do things fairly quickly. I also wanted to look at a couple tops since nothing really fits or looks good in my closet right now.

No one tells you how messed up your body is after birth. I weigh the same as I did a few years ago before I went on a diet and lost 30 lbs. but this baby weight is completely different. I don't have the weight in my face, or hands... it's all in my mid section. So the clothes I thought I could wear right now don't fit because my stomach is still too big, and my maternity pants won't stay up. My maternity shirts are either too big or are tight under my breasts and I can't lift them up to nurse. Regular t-shirts look horrible because they hug this beautiful saggy fat that surrounds my mid section.

Anyway... I wanted to try to get a couple tops, yoga pants, and a few odd end things. I knew as soon as I saw the parking lot that it was a bad time to go shopping. I had forgotten about all of the back to school shoppers out there. It was literally the day before a lot of kids in the area were going back to school. Oh well I thought - I was already there. The crowds were horrible! I don't do well in crowds normally and for the first trip out to shop post-baby it was not a good experience. I was constantly looking at my chest to make sure my bra pads were working and I wasn't leaking all over the place, I was just kind of sore still, I was worried about time, and I was just upset that going to Target was such an ordeal - I wondered if anything would be simple anymore. By the time I got to the checkout the lines were really bad and no one knew where the lines were which was even worse. I managed to find 2 pairs of yoga pants and 2 tops that I didn't love, but were good enough - they hid my stomach and they allowed me to nurse. So I got back to my car and called home to see how Ella was doing to see if I had time to get some ice cream. She was screaming in the background so I wanted to come home but G assured me she was fine and to go get some ice cream. I cried the whole way from Target to Dairy Queen and after waiting in line forever there, decided to call my friend J. I hadn't talked to her since I delivered and I knew I could call her and cry and she would understand. I love friends like that!

Anyway, we had a good chat as I drove home and I felt a lot better by the time I got home and much better after I fed E and she was content.

Then to put icing on the cake I was talking to mom and found out that I managed to go to target during tax free weekend... which explains the horrid crowds. "Didn't you notice you didn't pay taxes on your clothes?". Um no. I managed to pay and get out of the store... that's all I cared about.

:)