Goodbye Vicki

My friend Vicki died on Saturday afternoon.  Around the time we were celebrating Hannah's 3rd birthday she took her last breath in her sleep.  The night before had been bad and the hospice nurse told them that morning that she would probably pass away that day.

I got to work this morning and was making my way to my office when I ran into someone I knew and said good morning.  She turned to me and said "you knew Vicki right".  I knew immediately with her use of past tense that she had passed away.  I passed another person that saw me talking to her and wanted to confirm that I knew.  So on this Monday morning I hadn't even got to my desk yet before I was in tears.  My old boss came over because she knew I was close to her and came and talked to me for a while and I was able to break down a little.  I found out the funeral is tomorrow so I got permission to leave for that and tried to concentrate on work.

I feel selfish.  I think about her, and I keep thinking about what I'm losing.  I've lost the friend I could go to for a hug whenever I needed one, and the lady who makes the best strawberry cake I've ever tasted in my entire life, I've lost a friend.  So is morning nothing more than coming to terms with what has been taken away from us?  I guess that's what "loss" is... having and then losing.  It just sometimes feels so selfish.  I think about her family, and her only child--a 23 year old who was raised solely by her and is hurting so much more than I am and I tell myself to suck it up - my pain is nothing compared to what they are feeling right now.  We tell ourselves we celebrate their life, but it feels more like we only long for them in ours.

So I guess that's what we do.  We give of ourselves to others in return for what they give to us.  And when they pass, the cycle is broken but we want it back.  I would love to give to her, and I would love to receive, but I can not.

I pray she knew how much I cared for her even though I didn't get to say goodbye.  I'm grateful to God for minimizing her pain and the longevity of this disease.  I praise the Lord for giving us people with such big hearts, and I trust Him for the bigger picture.  We don't know why - but we know He's in control, and He has reasons.

Thank you for your prayers for her, if you think on it please pray for her son Chance and her siblings who are all very close to each other.

The last few weeks.

Have been crazy!!

I finally feel like we are getting back to some sort of normality.  We still have things to do around the house but at least my huge piles of things to go though and put back into place are gone.  Replacing over half of your flooring is a big ordeal and I see why people only do it before they move in!  We do love our new floor although we haven't had a chance to enjoy it to the fullest yet since putting things back have been the priority.  G's office is beautiful and I'm so glad we opted for wood in there and are carpet is definitely soft underfoot but the shagginess has taken some time to get used to.  It also lays over a little more than we would prefer, but it comes right back up so it's all good.  Overall - we are happy.

We had a great weekend last weekend going to Kingsport for G's class reunion although we wanted to stay longer at his parents.  We had already bought tickets to see Wicked in Atlanta though so Saturday morning we drove from Kingsport to Atlanta, had a great Italian dinner next to the theater and saw the wonderful play Wicked.  It was a very different experience this time having just read the book.  I had to let the book go pretty early into the play though because it was so drastically different.  I wanted to enjoy the play for what it was - and it is wonderful.  The book was good too - just different.  We loved staying literally across the street from the theater and then went shopping on Sunday at our favorite mall in Atlanta.

Things at work are getting better, slowly.  We are past our big meeting but now we are trying to get things into production for the show season and we are past our deadline so now we are having to have lots of mockups made.  We also now have to run everything we do through the legal department which at first I thought was a crazy extra step, but have come to really like it.  They catch things we didn't and I love having an opinion that can not be questioned.  We have too many cooks in the kitchen at work at times and it's nice to have 1 person that has the final say.  By Thanksgiving all projects should be in production and our first show is the week after Thanksgiving and my first show is the first week of December.  Oh - and I'm going to Canada!!  How crazy is that!  I get to go to Toronto for a product tour.  They want a representative  from the marketing department and my boss asked me to go.  I know it's just Canada, but I'm excited!!

Attached is some photos of our new floor... you all need to come see it!!

Some pictures

We now have the files from our wedding and engagement so I thought I'd put up a few. The red felt sure looks good!!

Thanks to Holritz Photography for the great images.

Happy Anniversary My Love

Three years ago today we said "I do" in a beautiful ceremony with very pretty red felt underfoot. (thanks to the fam for that! :) ) It was the easiest thing in the world for me to say those words to G, and the past 3 years have been more wonderful than I ever imagined.

Thank you G for your love, personal strength, for the fun we have and for the friendship we share.

I am truly blessed.