Meaning to the madness

So after a very trying week last night I decided I needed to take Ella in to see the doctor. She hadn't been running a fever but with the fussiness and as of Thursday night the ear grabbing I thought it was time. I figure it's worth a copay to have a doctor tell me she's fine to avoid going back to the hospital.

Well Ella is good at telling me what's wrong because she does have an ear infection! I can tell she doesn't feel good and I know it hurts but a part of me is glad to know she wasn't just fussy, she was sick. We've had four doses of antibiotics now and I think she's starting to feel a little better, but she's still pretty fussy. I shouldn't have got my hopes up that she'd be a new baby once she felt better.
Oh well!

We had a nice weekend going down to visit my brother and his family for my niece's birthday. It was a princess party if I ever saw one! She seemed to have a good time and I enjoyed some family time. Ella also got to bring home a very nice blanket that my sister in law made for her. It's turned out to be the perfect tummy time blanket and is warm for the cooler weather that's on it's way.

Sunday we chilled and had a lazy morning in bed watching movies and recovering from a night of Ella waking up. :) We had moved her to her room but with her being sick we moved her back for a couple of nights. She was back in her room last night but still woke up at 3 and I had to feed her. Lately I've been able to give her a pacifier and she goes back to sleep, but no such luck last night.

That's about it here. Here are a few pictures from the last few days.

Ella doing her part in society...



Grant having fun with his glasses.



A hurt ear.


Feeling a little better!

Sometimes it's just really hard

So I've not been posting much but that's because I just don't have time! Grant made the comment that having her takes up a percentage of our lives and when I said she takes up 90% of mine I wasn't kidding! It's been really hard the last few weeks that I've been home full time. It was hard before but I expected that with a newborn, then I expected it with my crazy working part-time month, but by three months of age I have to say, I didn't expect this. If I get a total of an hour to myself before Grants either home or done for the day it's a miracle. Ella fights sleep, cat naps, wakes up cranky, eventually I feed her to stop the crying, we get 30 minutes of a somewhat happy baby but one that doesn't like to be left alone, and then I do it all over again.

I'm sure some of you are thinking, "yep, that's what parenting is" and that's fine. I shouldn't complain because she sleeps at night and is healthy. But this doesn't work for me. I am not happy taking care of her full time and that being my only occupation. I'm possibly a horrible mother for putting that in writing but there it is.

My goal is to work on our home business from home, but I don't have time to do that. I have managed to get a small workout into my day in the mornings and I try hard to take a shower so that Grant won't kick me out of the house, but that's about it. I'm able to do laundry and dishes while she's in her carrier but what I want to do is sit at my computer for a couple of hours and contribute to something I feel very passionate about. I'm trying to prepare myself for the possibility that that might not happen for a long time. I had thought by now it would be, but I was wrong.

I apologize for the venting of this post but as one of my favorite bloggers once wrote "some of these women go wacko" in reference to postpartum depression and although I'm not depressed, I do feel like I'm going wacko.

- Sara

Woohoo!

Healed!

Only took 12 weeks....

Happy to finally be here!

To the corn maze!

Yesterday we went to the corn maze with Ella. She did great. We put her in the baby bjorn and she stayed alert and didn't fuss the whole time we wandered through the corn.

She gets bored easily these days so I think she liked looking at something completely different.

We did our normal thing at the corn maze - had hot chocolate and kettle corn. We went earlier in the day and in the season than we usually do because of Ella, and it was really nice. We didn't get as cold and didn't need our flash lights in the maze.

Please note the super chubby cheeks and double chin. Apparently we made chubby babies!

I'm starting to feel a lot better, in fact better than I have in 11 weeks... here's to hoping I'm finally healing.